I am happy, I am sad, I am excited, I am worried, I am scared, I ecstatic, I want to smile, I want to cry, I am scared shitless (might be the prenatal vitamins with iron), I am happy, I am sad, I am excited, I am worried, I am scared, I am happy, and that was just the last thirty seconds. If you feel any of that, then you aren’t alone in this. This is normal, trust me. You aren’t going crazy, it’s the hormones and let me tell you, it will only get worse (or better) with time. You’ll alternately want to curse your husband/boyfriend/significant other and then jump his bones. It’s loopy and weird, but it comes with the territory.
When I was pregnant ten years I know I found great solace with all the people I met on different message boards and thought I would like to do that again. But Brad said no, no, we will start our own blog and board. He has turned his other blogs profitable, or at least to the point of not losing money so I am on board with this. So thank you for visiting us and helping us out. Point anyone else you know over here, we’d appreciate it and maybe they’ll learn something, or just get a good laugh for the day.
My due date is October 21, 2008, just two weeks after Liam turns ten. When my mom heard this, she joked I should cross my legs if I felt contractions on his birthday. I didn’t think I would be in this position again. In fact I had all but decided I was done. If I had any clue the pill would fail after all these years I would have suggested to Brad, who I knew didn’t want more kids, to go get snipped. I wish he had he had been thinking about that too, because we wouldn’t be in this situation, and what a situation it is. Remember, no matter how long you’ve been using a particular birth control method; it’s never going to be one hundred percent effective. I’ve been on the pill for almost ten years, since Liam was born. There was a brief two year period where I lost medical coverage and we used condoms, and we’re damn lucky I didn’t get pregnant then.
We were doing fine right up until I got hurt in November of 2005. I was a salaried store manager, we had a nice car, buying a home, and then it all went bad. I got hurt on the job and fought with my employer for more than a year to get needed surgery all the while losing our house, our car, our credit, our self worth, and ended up living with my parents supported only by Brad’s disability income and welfare. After 11 months of living with Mom, Dad, and my youngest sister we finally settled with my employer, got a settlement check, bought a truck and paid a years worth of rent on a place. Somewhere in between then and now I lost my new job in the Cash Office of a horrible mismanaged box store, need massive repairs to my truck after having already shelled out money for previous repairs and am working short term gigs at a temp agency hoping we can pay the bills and have enough to cover living in this house when it is time to renew our lease next September. Treasure what stability you may have. Never rely on a college degree to get you anywhere unless it’s in a field that requires one. Even then, have a back up plan.
Brad can be a bastard, but he is my rock. We may have fought and argued too many times to count over the years, but we always end up making up and laughing again. We even argued about what to do when I did find out I was pregnant, but ultimately he supported my decision and we both know we’re going to be awesome parents to both our kids.
I am not sure what I am expecting anymore, except sometime in the future, I am going to have to tell Liam something and stop calling it “The New Pet” in front of him. He is going to be disappointed it isn’t a beagle. Barry the nutless wonder, beloved of Ceiling Cat, will be pleased it is not a beagle. It’s going to be an adjustment, yes, but we’ll make it through and be a stronger family for it.
Originally posted 2008-04-21 22:04:54. Republished by Blog Post Promoter
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