Being a dad is a lot different from being the father of a child. Dad and daughter time is just as important as father son time. No matter what sex your children are or what sort of kids you have spend time with them and learn to become a dad rather than just a chromosome donor.
Dead Tired
I remember a time when pulling all-nighters every night wasn’t such a chore. I shouldn’t say chore the reasons for being up all night right now are quite legitimate with the furnace being on the fritz and needing to feed or change Sarah nearly hourly. I just sat here holding her for more than an hour after she fell asleep, waiting for Smorty to come back up and glad I had the time to do it. With Liam so much of his early life was spent in the hospital then the feeding tube I feel like I somehow missed out on things with him.
While there was a lot of convenience to the feeding tube, simply pour the formula into the bag, hang it, and let the machine push it, I am glad we aren’t having the same sort of GI issues with Sarah. I think she might have a slight case of reflux, but nowhere nearly as bad as he did. Hopefully, when we see her doctor on Friday, we can address that issue. While I can most certainly say I don’t want her to have a feeding tube, there are days where I don’t think I would mind having one. The benefits of taking that half a pot of cold coffee all at once are obvious to me. While I wouldn’t want to give up eating regularly, pouring one of those nasty tasting protein shakes directly into my belly when I need to eat and Sarah is fussy certainly seems like a fine alternative too.
I digress though. I got to spend an extra hour simply holding my girl, and it was a moment I’m glad for. While some will criticize me for some things I have chronicled here that she may later read, I am fine with that, because I know she will just as likely read this post one day and see I did enjoy my time with her once she was born. Well she is asleep now so I am going to take her back to her room now that the heater has made it toasty warm, then i am going to crawl back into bed and just maybe get another ninety minutes of sleep before Liam decides he needs breakfast.
Sphere: Related ContentBeing Honest Often Hurts
Honesty often times is painful. It must be excruciating for some, look how far John McCain and Sarah Palin go out of their way to avoid it. Often times we use the excuse that is okay to tell little white lies to save anyone from hurt feelings, but that is only an avoidance of hurting your own pride for having the feelings. Be honest and you’ll be better for it.
Recently, I was accused of being a horrible miserable person because I admitted I am not excited about the baby. I can live with that. It is true, despite the fact she is due in twenty three days, I am not excited. If she asked me a dozen years from now what I felt about her being born, I’ll be honest. If you expect your kids to tell the truth you need to do the same with them. Read more of this Parenting Magazine Article
Sphere: Related Content5 Things Every Stay At Home Dad Needs To Know
In the course of nearly ten years of being a stay at home dad by default I have learned a few things. Call it a parenting course based on my on the job training.
5) You are Dad. That means a lot, don’t shirk your responsibilities. You will have to turn off your xbox or step away from the computer to watch Sesame Street and smile when you would rather strangling that fucking Elmo. Putting on the right face is part of the job.
4) You are Dad. Don’t try and be Mom. It will never work. It doesn’t matter if your child has no mother or even another Dad, if you try and be Mom you will fail horribly. Be Dad and be a good Dad, it is all anyone could ever ask or expect.
3) You are a stay at home dad, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to work. Don’t put up with any crap from people who think you don’t work. If you are doing your job right, you will work your ass off every day. If you happen to have a secondary job to being the stay at home parent, remember that it is always secondary to the job of being the stay at home Dad.
2) Show your respect for the person going off to the job that lets you be a stay at home Dad. Don’t, however let them get away with shoving off all their responsibilities of being a parent and living in the house off on you though. You are a stay at home Dad, not their personal servant. Even if you are into that sort of role playing, remember it is when the kids have gone to bed and you are allowed a temporary reprieve.
1) Realize until your kids are in school all day long five days a week your free time is limited, so make the best use of it you can. i recommend napping every time they do.
Sphere: Related ContentLanguage and Your Kids
First I read an interesting post by a friend of mine on MyLot about his distaste for “text speak” i.e. LOL, ROLF, XMAS 2MRO. Then I heard a very interesting bit on NPR this morning about kids and cursing and it got me to wondering about how I am going to deal with the subject of language when the baby is older. After pondering the situation for a while I came to the conclusion I speak a lot more languages than I give myself credit for. I have my everyday vernacular, I have the high etiquette I use in the necessary social situations, and I am semi fluent in “text speak” While all of them are based in English, they are distinctive languages each with their appropriate forum.
I agree that everyone needs to learn the high etiquette of social speak. I disagree with the notion that it is the only language that matters. I also disagree with the notion of censuring kids who use any other version of English when high etiquette social speak isn’t necessary. Just because an adult can’t make heads or tails of “text speak” or forgotten they were once kids who had their own vulgar vernacular that included controversial words like neat, damn, awesome, suck, fly, groovy, rad, and cool. While “Biatch” and “Ho” are words I could do without hearing, this generation has however given up most of the derogatory terms used for race that I don’t think I need to list. Read more of this Parenting Magazine Article
Sphere: Related ContentWelcome To WTF Are We Going To Do Now!
That is right ladies, gents, men, women and hopefully not too many young ladies because I really wish you could have lived a hell of a lot more of your life before be needing this sort of blog.
I am Brad, your blogmaster and all around administrator. Aside from being a stay at home dad for at least another seven years I am a blogger and author.
Katy is my wife and if you hadn’t guessed is preggers, knocked up, in a family way, has a bun in the oven, renting out her guest womb, lost the immunity challenge, showing signs of a man juice infection, spinning off a wholly owned subsidiary, protesting the Chinese government, bought a three month pass to the morning sickness express, had the fucking pill quit working, and in all other very specific terms pregnant.
I am just waiting to hear how she will introduce me now. All things aside I love her, our son Liam, and what ever we end up calling this one besides “The New Pet“. I am a father, I know how we got into this situation and I am 50% responsible, so I will do my job.
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