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What would the world be like with out Mom-isms Ran across this wonderful site on Digg: 16 Lies Mothers Tell. What sort of lies did your parents tell you, because I know this doesn’t only apply to Mom’s. As a guy I am particularly fond of 13. “You’re going to poke someone’s eye out with that!” Because as it was explained that just made me swing the stick, lightsaber and eventually real sword even harder. Of course as recent evidence proves number 16. “If you keep playing with it, it will fall off someday,” is not only false, but playing with it may help prevent prostate cancer which is showing up at ever younger ages in men. There are even thoughts that masturbation may help prevent testicular cancer too. This is a very honest and funny YouTube video on the subject of #16

This leads me back to point of the post lying and your kids. This isn’t a one way street. They will lie to you whenever it is convenient and they think they can get away with it, that is what kids do. If we can convince them that they won’t get away with it or that the punishment is going to be a lot worse for the lie than what ever they did wrong we have won as parents. Not only do we have to win that battle we need to encourage them that lying in the first place is bad by not doing it to them. When we lie to our kids out of convenience it only serves to reinforce that it is okay to lie and makes us out to be complete hypocrites. There is a difference between exaggerating and lying, but don’t fall into the trap of not knowing the difference. White lies are still lies and nothing you do will change them and nothing will change their mind if you get caught lying to them that they can’t do it right back. Coming up as I often do some ridiculously over the top punishment for the smallest infraction also has to be done carefully.

Liam, for example, knows I am exaggerating and it lets us diffuse what for more control freak parents with defiant children a real problem. He understands that I am serious about what ever behavior I am trying to correct, even if he forgets 20 minutes later. He understands if I yell something to the effect “if you don’t shut your mouth for a while I am going cut your tongue and (insert something very creative things)” that I won’t cut out his tongue much less super glue it to the wall. He does know I am serious about him being quiet and gets to have a little laugh at how funny I am and does calm down and be quiet (for a while). Other kids might not understand that and would simply be scared of you, which isn’t what you want out of your kids. Another reason not to lie is when it is successful there is usually a large amount of guilt, and like most lying assholes it isn’t the liar who feels the guilt. There are times to be stern and strict, but being an asshole for the sake of being one doesn’t make you a good parent, it makes you a lousy one.

If you find yourself dealing with a son or daughter who is starting to seriously masturbate or even just touch themselves out of curiosity here are a few helpful links to get you through it.

• Myths About Masturbation (WebMD)
• Masturbation Myths (about.com)
• JackinMyths Funny, but good information.
• Myths about Female Sexuality, A good one for your teen daughters, but someone should be telling some of these things to teen boys too.
• Masturbation Male and Female, Give this one to your teen to read and then discuss it. The whole site was pretty interesting.
• Six Big Lies About Sex (TeenWire.com) Discussing this with your teens wouldn’t be out of line either. I had a hard time finding something appropriate for younger kids so the best advice I can give is tell them to find some place private to pleasure themselves and if it is the shower not to use all the hot water while doing it…