Parenting Magazine

Liam and “The New Pet”

We love Liam, but there are days when we roll our eyes at God and ask, “Oh Lord, how hell did two super smart people end up with such a fucking idiot for a child?” Then we remember he is nine. Then sometimes I say it’s normal because he has a penis. (Sorry guys, but it’s true, you are ruled by the whims of your hormones, even more so than us women.) Then I realize it doesn’t really matter, because he is ours and we love him.

I rant because he tends to be a loud mouth idiot who babbles on for hours about crap he lacks any understanding of to people who really don’t care, don’t want to hear it, or that he should be paying attention rather than the other way around. We haven’t told him of the baby. He isn’t stupid by any means, even if he has some learning problems mostly in delayed abilities because he was between 4 to 6 weeks premature. (I’ll talk about idiot doctors soon enough, but that’s another post) Right now when Brad and I need to talk about it, we either YIM from across the room or when other family members are present it is referred to as the new pet. We’ve decided to wait until we know the sex of the baby to tell him, that way he can say with confidence that he is having a brother or sister. Of course, I am totally dreading the thought of him asking how the baby came to be. I do NOT need to be having THE TALK with my ten year old son. That’s Brad’s job.

What Was I Expecting Now That I’m Expecting

I am happy, I am sad, I am excited, I am worried, I am scared, I ecstatic, I want to smile, I want to cry, I am scared shitless (might be the prenatal vitamins with iron), I am happy, I am sad, I am excited, I am worried, I am scared, I am happy, and that was just the last thirty seconds. If you feel any of that, then you aren’t alone in this. This is normal, trust me. You aren’t going crazy, it’s the hormones and let me tell you, it will only get worse (or better) with time. You’ll alternately want to curse your husband/boyfriend/significant other and then jump his bones. It’s loopy and weird, but it comes with the territory.

When I was pregnant ten years I know I found great solace with all the people I met on different message boards and thought I would like to do that again. But Brad said no, no, we will start our own blog and board. He has turned his other blogs profitable, or at least to the point of not losing money so I am on board with this. So thank you for visiting us and helping us out. Point anyone else you know over here, we’d appreciate it and maybe they’ll learn something, or just get a good laugh for the day.

My due date is October 21, 2008, just two weeks after Liam turns ten. When my mom heard this, she joked I should cross my legs if I felt contractions on his birthday. I didn’t think I would be in this position again. In fact I had all but decided I was done. If I had any clue the pill would fail after all these years I would have suggested to Brad, who I knew didn’t want more kids, to go get snipped. I wish he had he had been thinking about that too, because we wouldn’t be in this situation, and what a situation it is. Remember, no matter how long you’ve been using a particular birth control method; it’s never going to be one hundred percent effective. I’ve been on the pill for almost ten years, since Liam was born. There was a brief two year period where I lost medical coverage and we used condoms, and we’re damn lucky I didn’t get pregnant then. Read more of this Parenting Magazine Article

Welcome To WTF Are We Going To Do Now!

That is right ladies, gents, men, women and hopefully not too many young ladies because I really wish you could have lived a hell of a lot more of your life before be needing this sort of blog.

I am Brad, your blogmaster and all around administrator. Aside from being a stay at home dad for at least another seven years I am a blogger and author.

Katy is my wife and if you hadn’t guessed is preggers, knocked up, in a family way, has a bun in the oven, renting out her guest womb, lost the immunity challenge, showing signs of a man juice infection, spinning off a wholly owned subsidiary, protesting the Chinese government, bought a three month pass to the morning sickness express, had the fucking pill quit working, and in all other very specific terms pregnant.

I am just waiting to hear how she will introduce me now. All things aside I love her, our son Liam, and what ever we end up calling this one besides “The New Pet“. I am a father, I know how we got into this situation and I am 50% responsible, so I will do my job.